So what does the bride do when her pantyhose rips?  Or if the bridemaid’s dress rips?  Or if the day is windy and the bride’s hair flies all over?  The best thing to do is pack an emergency kit with a few contents that can help rescue the long day.  Here a few suggestions:

• Makeup:
  • Tweezers
  • Tissues
  • Cotton Balls
  • Makeup Remover
  • Lipstick
  • Pressed Powder (all the lights from the cameras can make you shiny)
  • Eye Makeup
• Hair:
  • Bobby Pins
  • Hairspray
  • Brush/comb
  • Hair bands
•  Hygiene
  • Perfume
  • Breath Mints
  • Deodorant
  • Dental Floss
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
•  Hands, Nails, and Feet
  • Hand lotion
  • Same color nail polish for touch up
  • Nail file
  • Nail glue
  • Nail polish remover
  • Extra pantyhose and black socks (black socks for both bridal party and groomsmen)
  • Shoe polish
•  Sewing Supplies
  • Small sewing kit (with black and white thread as well as the colors of the bridesmaid’s dresses)
  • Fabric tape
  • Needles
  • Saftey pins
  • Clear nail polish (for pantyhose runs)
•  Snacks
  • Power bars
  • Crackers
  • Water
•  Medicine
  • Asprin
  • Antacid/Pepto-Bismo
  • Band aids
  • Smelling salts
  • Club soda
  • Baby wipes
  • Tampons

Have the maid of honor pack these items a few days before the wedding so you’re not stressed out about it the day of the wedding. 

When deciding on who to pay for what, not only does it get confusing but it can also be a sticky situation.  Talking about money is always a sensitive topic.  These days, the bride and groom usually splits the costs of the wedding.  However, in a traditional American wedding, the bride’s family usually pays for most of the costs.

Traditionally, these are how the costs are split.  If you want to download the form instead, click on this link here:  

Who Pays for What Worksheet

Out of the Bride’s wallet:

• Groom’s wedding ring
• Wedding gift for the groom
• Gifts for the guests (wedding favors)
• Accommodation for out-of-town guests
• Wedding day lingerie
• Bridesmaids luncheon 

Out of the Groom’s wallet:

• Bride’s rings (including the engagement ring)
• Wedding gift for the bride
• Honeymoon vacation
• Marriage license
• Groomsmen gifts
• Bride’s bouquet
• Corsages for mother of bride and mother of groom
• Boutonnieres for men in wedding party
• Ties and accessories for the men in the wedding party
• Clergy, Justice of the Peace, Wedding Officiant or minister’s fee 

On the Bride’s family:

• Wedding planner
• Engagement party and announcement
• Wedding reception
• Bride’s attire
• Wedding invitations, announcements, thank you notes
• Wedding photographer and videographer
• Wedding ceremony costs
• Bridesmaids and flower girl’s flowers and accessories
• Ring bearer’s accessories
• Transportation for bridal party from ceremony to reception
• All gratuities
• Their own attire

On the Groom’s family:

• Their own attire
• The rehearsal dinner 

The Maid of Honor pays for:

• Wedding shower
• Bachelorette party

The Best Man pays for:

• Bachelor party

The Attendants pay for:

• Wedding attire
• Wedding gifts to the newlyweds

Do keep in mind that this is just what is traditionally paid for by each party.  These days, everyone and anyone can pay for anything.

If you’re thinking of planning your own wedding, things can get overwhelming.   I know because I’ve been there.  But with a little organization and help, planning your own wedding can be a fun, stress-free activity.  One of the problems I encountered was booking things late so my first choices, from photographers to buying the wedding dress to booking the venue, was not available. 

Mid way through the planning, I finally decided that it was time for a checklist.  I wish I had this sooner in my planning.  It helps keep me on track.  I hope you can find this checklist useful.  

Just click on the link below for the file.

Wedding Timeline Checklist

Have you noticed at the weddings you’ve been to that there seems to be a secret mix tape floating around called, “First Dance Songs You Are Required to Choose From” and it only has about ten songs on it?  That’s an exaggeration, obviously, but there is an abundant reliance on a small repertoire of love songs that rotate through the first dance rotation.  If you want to branch out and have a song that is not only a perfect expression of your love but also a beautiful song for you and your guests to enjoy afresh, hopefully these song ideas can help you out.

(1) “Do What You Want” by David Ryan Harris – This song is gorgeous.  It’s a man’s expression of love to a woman, telling her that he is hers to do with what she wishes.  “I have no offering to bring, but the song you hear me singing.  So do what you want with me, do what you want.”

(2) “Spend My Life With You” by Eric Benet and Tamia – This beautiful duet is a couple expressing to each other their desire to spend every day together for the rest of their lives.  “Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes?  Can I just feel your beating beside me every night?  Can we just feel this way together till the end of all time?  Can I just spend my life with you?”

(3) “Nothing Fancy” by Dave Barnes – This song is from the perspective of a man who is expressing to a woman that, while he knows there’s nothing he can give her that is special or amazing in his love, what he can do is love her with all his heart. “There’s nothing fancy ‘bout the way I love you. It’s as simple as the stars in the sky, and the blue in the sea.  There’s nothing fancy ‘bout the way I love you.  But it sure is fancy how you love me.”

(4) “Shelter” by Ray LaMontagne – This lovely song is an affirmation of standing together and protecting each other from the troubles of the world. “All of this around us’ll fall over.  I tell you what we’re gonna do.  You will shelter me my love, and I will shelter you.”

(5) “Simple As It Should Be” by Tristan Prettyman – This song celebrates the simple pleasures of being in love and feeling connected to the person you love.  “Cause time will go, and we may be far apart I know, but as far as I can see this is so good, there’s no need for change.  It’s alright with me, it’s as simple as it should be.”

These songs can be easily located and purchased by simply typing the title and artist into Google or another search engine.  The CDs can be purchased online at a store such as Amazon.com or in your local record store.

Also, you can procure digital downloads of the songs from stores like eMusic or iTunes.  However, carefully read what the Digital Rights Management installations on the files are, because they might prevent you from doing things like burning the file to a CD, which you may need for the DJ.  You might be better off getting the physical CDs in this situation.

Keep searching until you find a song that is utterly perfect for the two of you – the hours of searching will be worth it when you are dancing to it on your special day!

According to the Census Beareau (quote taken from http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html),

“About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in
divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women’s first marriages
may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce
is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men
and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by
the end of their lives. “

I couldn’t believe it.  About 50% of first marriages end up in a divorce.  Am I reading that correctly?  Anyone married can tell you that dating and marriage are two totally different things.  Anyone married for a long period of time can also tell you that it takes a lot of effort to keep a marriage healthy. 

Recently, I just heard that my good friend is getting divorce.  First marriage.   Married for only 5 years.  And they both are under 30 years old.  Yes, they contributes to the 50% statistic.  The biggest thing that he said was communication.  They kept things bottled up inside.  His claim was:  “I didn’t want to hurt her because I love her so much.  So I just kept it to myself.” 

That strategy may work out for a few years, but in the long run, it’s going to eat you alive.  All the problems and issues they had finally surfaced and it was too late to change certain things.  In listening to him, it seems as if the underlying problem between them was communication.  Whether it was miscommunication, misunderstanding, or lack of communication. 

Had they discussed how their lives would be as a married couple before they got married, then perhaps they wouldn’t be talking about getting a divorce right now. 

Having that said, take a few minutes to sit with your partner and ask each other these questions.  Give the questions some thought before answering.  If there are any conflicts, be sure you work them out so that there is an understanding of what is to be expected when you do get married.   We really don’t need that 50% divorce rate any higher than it already is.

1. Will you have individual or joint bank accounts?
2. Where will you live?
3. Will you be renting an apartment or buying a house?  If buying, when are you buying?
4. Who will be in charge of the finances (ie, paying bills and other expenses)?
5. How will our careers affect our relationship?
6. What if one of us had a career opportunity that requires us to move to a new city or country?
7. How important is money to our relationship and marriage?
8. What is your definition of financial security?
9. How much is enough for our “rainy day” fund?
10. Will we invest our savings?
11. How much of our income will we save or invest?
12. Who will go shopping for food, one of us or both of us?
13. Will we have a “special night” for just us two?  Once a week, once a month?
14. Will we be eating out or cooking most of the time?
15. Who will be responsible for cooking and other house chores?
16. What are our individual goals and objectives related to our careers?
17. When do we want to retire, with how much money, and how will we spend our time after retirement?
18. How often do you like to go out with your friends alone?
19. How often will we go out with our friends together?
20. What do you like and dislike about me?
21. Can you deal with what you dislike about me?
22. What do you like and dislike about my family?
23. How will we share time with uor families during the holidays?
24. Define good sex and what a good sexual relationship means.
25. How often do we each expect to have sex?
26. Have if we’re not not ready for sex?
27. How do we deal with each other’s sexual expectations and needs?
28. Is sex important to us in this relationship and how or why?
29. What if one of us doesn’t want to have sex, how will we deal with that?
30. How do you like to be touched?  What do you like and don’t like?
31. Describe your idea of the ultimate sexual experience - is it romantic, is it spontaneous?
32. Will we have children?
33. When and how many children?
34. If one of us already had children, how do you expect the other ot act or treat the other’s children?
35. Will they call you “Mom” or “Dad?”
36. What will happen if we can’t have children together?  Will we adopt?
37. What if one of us is not ready for children?
38. How will children affect our relationship and the time we spend together?
39. Who will wake up at 3 am when the baby cries?
40. Will one of us stay at home to take care of the baby?  Or will we hire a nanny?
41. What will our parents expect from us once the baby is born?  How much time will they expect to spend with the children?
42. If one of us was previously married, how does the other spouse feel about the ex?
43. If one of us had children from a previous marriage, how will the spouse feel about the children and ex being together?
44. How will the ex affect our relationship?
45. Will we go on vacation together?  How often and where and when?
46. Will we be going on vacation with just us, as a family, with friends, with other family members?
47. What if an old boyfriend/girlfriend calls?  What if we bumped into them while being out?  How would you react and how would you feel?
48. When we have an argument/fight, how will we handle it? 
49. Would you consider marriage counseling if we were having trouble?
50. How do you feel about pre-nuputal agreements?  Do you expect to get one?

Although there are much more questions you need to ask and work out, you can start with these.  Ask your partner and you may be surprised at what answers you might get!

Good luck!